… a sneak peak into the learnings of my Life

I believe we are forever students, and Life is our greatest Teacher….

And of course we give it a direction. We make choices. That often make sense later.

Like the time I entered the photography school in Vevey, Switzerland (2003) – helping me learn to deal with body image, reflection of self, being seen and showing up. Of course therapy was a thing in my life – going from convential therapist, I dove into different methods that related back to the body to allowed me to feel and move through everything that had been felt, stored, trapped in this body of mine….things that happen when you are a sensitive being in a world that asks you to toughen up again and again and your heart and your soul refuse….. I knew then already that the mind can only do so much, that we are Beings of energy, that we are meant for greater things…..but fears had me deeply trapped….. and so….

After working as a director’s assistant for 2 different companies in Geneva, while working with different festivals to keep my artistic vibe going ( Caribanna & Paleo Festival), while also working on and off for the International school of Geneva and implementing recycling opportunites (ecology consciousness is very big for me) I went to Costa Rica for 2months. And discovered a whole new world…. I went to spend 6 weeks in the Pachamama Community and had my first dip into the alternative world…. dancing, music, kirtan, deep nature, plant medecines, alternative schooling methods, different healing modalities, permaculture…. I had found a place where things were done differently….. I was determined to transition into this world that resonated deeply with my soul, but I had to find a way to sustain myself… At this time in my life, I had begun to slowly move out of the mainstream work to only be doing replacement wotk at the International school, while at the same time, creating the first second hand – exchange based shop in Nyon with artiste and writer Sophie Lainé. ‘Feminitude’ was the name of our shop, whose mission was to help women get out of social traps to tap into their Free Spirit. So we had women circles, we organised fashion shows with and for our clients, we used our people skills to help women see that their consumerist and other addictions where linked to their unfulfilled Soul calling… and so we offered massage, painting, outings, 1:1 sessions, dance sessions instead of money when their clothes were sold….because these women needed love and presence, not money… As I navigated working for the school and the second hand shop, I still struggled with my own traumas…. My soul was calling for something else. So I flew to Portugal and did my first PDC (permaculture design course) with Bernard Alonso …. because my Soul felt that there had to be a different way of living then what I was doing. Then, all of my conditionning started withering away….I had found a way to serve the World, a way of contributing to something I truly believed in. And so I continued…. I traveled to Ethiopia to learn & work on a Ecolodge (Strawberry Fields Eco Lodge, Konso) there for 4 months (where I did another PDC) before flying to Morroco to go help out on another farm (La Fleur de Vie, Ouled Hamou) where I helped set up the garden, create workshops, run the farm…then back to Switzerland to see family and work again, trying to bring back knowledge I had learnt..and then I flew to India, to another permaculture project close to Auroville and stayed there for another 5months (more PDCs’, more workshops)- learning and living with the people there. I then went to Canada to do an orchard apprentiship with Stefan Sobkowiak for 4 months (more PDCs and assisting) and learning with other teachers . I also used this time abroad to get closer to the north American Indian culture, learning from the people there, getting in touch with the world of women circles, drumming, hearing about Vision quests for the first time….These experiences changed me forever. We closed the second hand shop and I decided to dive head first into what felt right….

When I came back to Geneva, after 3 years of ins & out, I went to help out at Alternatiba, wanting- hoping to meet people who had had the same eye opening experiences and who would be looking to create and bring all of this to Switzerland. The Universe heard me – I met Daphné Lachavanne, Timothée Jeannotat & Marco Leschot with whom I created the permnaculture collective ‘Permabondance’ whose mission was to bring the essence of Permaculture (Earth care, People care & Fair share) to Switzerland. For 4 years, we worked with schools, private projects, associations, holding classes and workshop, contributing to connecting the network of permcaulture hubs throughout Switzerland. One of the ‘petals’ that I enjoyed the most was organising workshop with International teachers such as Bernard Alonso, Stefan Sobkowiak, Thomas d’Ansembourg to name but a few. And during time, as I had my hands in the earth, I was realising that we can do all the sharing of gardening knowledge in the world, but if people don’t look at their conditionning, at their deep shadows, things will never really change…we will just take one paradigm and dive into it with the same fear-based principles. And so, what was a pure way of relating to the Earth? To the essence of people, one another and other beings, resources and knowledge that came from indigeous people could be transformed to fit a capitalist and colonialist way of thinking….with just another color or another name….. As I saw this, I satrted to loose faith in humaniy again… and so in parallele to working in schools, with children, I started to train myself to accompany humans into their shadows, into their pains and fears, because as one of my teachers said, “We change the world, one human at the time”.

And so I did a ‘Thanatology’ course with Rosemary Wallace which helped me get a glimpse into grief and loss. The same year, I dove deeper into Body work teachings – I have been massaging people all my life, but wanted to learn more – so I did a course on Thai Massage, with Jens Sterz & Daniel Anner, as well as a deep dive into energy work with the teachers Alex Orbito & Jean-Dominique Michel – tapping into the potential of human beings as channels of healing energy. And the doorway to the energetic world and past-present-futur energetic systemics was shown to me. During a workshop in Egypt, I lived a past Life as a Priestess there and saw how this influenced me in my Life today. I connected to lost Spirits and helped them move on through, back to the Source. I realised how our traumas, in this Life and past Lives, influence us in our day-to-day interactions with other. I rediscovered the healing powers of Sounds and started singing again. Mantras I had been taught in India, prayers to the Divine, within and without, noticing the soothing effect that this had on my system.

And so I dove, I learnt more. More mantras, more singing, more connecting sound to my body, seeing how sound could move pain through me until it was liberated and I felt more ease in my body. Life bought me to interact with plant medecines which liberated my voice, my body, my mind. Ceremony after ceremony, layers of my conditionning was being undone and I was feeling my Soul closer to me. I offered myself to this path of deep love, still navigating my wounds that each new relationship would offer a new reading on. Because we grow with each other, we frow when we are faced with a mirror image of ourselves that takes us out of known zone. And so my partners, my closest friends became my Gurus. Life gave me opportunites for deep, painful growth. Opportunities to Voice what my real truth was. To set boundaries. To say goodbye. To choose me.

I was faced with this reality, again, with the deepest intitiation yet….my father died in January of 2023, and all of my childhood traumas of lack, of self worth, of looking for love in deviant ways came up. All of the masculine figures around me at that time disappeared, choosing to leave me in this moment. An experience Life gave me to dive deep into the abyss of my lack of security, of how I was giving my power away, of how I chose a role of provider when all I wanted was to be cared for. And so it was 13 months of darkness, of the dissolving of family systemics, of deep shedding of relationship beliefs, of crying, of screaming, of wanting to die and then slowly remembering that Life is worth living….and remembering that I can choose me….choose the Life that I want to be living…..

And choosing me bought me back into the world of Tantra, of the body, of it’s capacity to heal itself, to be pleasure, to express Life in it’s purest form. With Sound explorations, these are my main tools at the moment. I believe that reconencting our Life energy and our voice are our best tools for deep, deep healing. Yes, this means facing fears and all that we have pushed down to not feel. Yes, this means crying, moving, liberating our crystallised traumas in our body and that is never comfortable. Yes, this means saying stop to things that you have been saying yes for a long time. Yes, this means choosing you, choosing a path where you are your main source of safety, of pleasure, of joyfulness, all the while connecting with the ones you love on a level of deep deep love and understanding and of FREEDOM. Because when you are on a path of wholeness, you no longer wait for someone else to make you feel whole and you are free. Free to love them as they are, or not if it no longer nourishes you. You are free to be that version of yourself that thrives, that laughs, that loves, that is abundant

Right now, as I write these words, I am in this new regrowth period. Like a caterpillar, a buttefly, I am shedding another layer of my Being, transforming into Being. As we all are. As I said, I believe we are forever learning as we are forever changing…Life is a constant movement, and so we need to relearn to move with that natural movement.

And in this new regrowth, I feel it is time for me to share these tools, to allow myself to exist fully, to be seen in a new way….Thank you for reading me, for seeing me. We are all just singing each other home, with our different melodies, we create a beautiful harmony. May we always remember that each and everyone of us is precious and has a beautiful gift to share with the world.